M.F!
whats M.F? its MOTHER FUCKER!
seriously i don understand WHY my freaking mum understand how to appreciate man!
if i can express myself seriously i will wanna shout FUCK rite in front of her FACE!
i'm being really chill just to go in my room n lock myself up!
every single day i woke up damn early in morning just to go her shop to help her out!
den i will leave around 1 plus or 2 head to school to start training for KO NIGHT with nicole or maybe session with some others! by this time i m seriously dead TIRED!
i just wanna have sometime resting or maybe catching up with frens!
but she will call and call me to go home to MASSAGE her!
yes i tried my best to go home and massage her!
AFTER HELPING HER AT SHOP FUCKING RIGHT IN THE MORNING! den she know i am goin to school to train!
DOES SHE FUCKING HAVE A HEART KNOWS HOW FUCKING TIRED AM I?
this FUCKING life routine had been goin for like 1 MONTH PLUS!
i FUCKING hell don have enough SLEEP and REST!
by the time i reached home she will just give me some FUCKED UP ATTITUDE!
like as though i m not appreciating her! THE MONEY SHE GAVE ME N SUCH!
she making me feel like i m making used of her!
IF I M SUCH A FUCKING USELESS SON!
I DON EVEN WANNA WAKE UP RITE IN THE MORNING WITH LESS DEN 4HOURS SLEEP A DAY! WALK AND TAKE BUS TO YOUR FUCKING SHOP AND HELP YOU AS MUCH AS I COULD!
I FUCKING SACRIFICE MY OWN SLEEP AND LEISURE TIME COZ I WANNA HELP YOU!
DO YOU FUCKING HELL SEE WAT I M TRYING TO DO!
i FUCKING remember telling her Y NOT ASK MY 2 OTHER FUCKING BROTHERS TO MASSAGE HER SINCE I HELPED HER AT HER SHOP!
den she will give me another FUCKING ATTITUDE!
BUT TODAY WAS JUST PISSED ME OFF!
TMR IS MY KO NIGHT! I DON WAN TO THROW FACE!
RIGHT EARLY IN MORNING I WENT TO HER SHOP TO HELP HER! BUT LEFT QUITE EARLY COZ I JUST NEED A SHORT NAP IN SCH!
BUT IT WASNT SUCCESSFULL AS THE ROOM WAS FREAKING NOISY!
I END UP USING MY LAPTOP AND REST MY BODY!
3pm start training!
sweat like DOG! STINKS like BABI!
den went to watch their GRADUATION stage marking!
den went to opp sch for CHENG TENG and str8 HOME!
she called me wen i m under the block i tell her i will massage her wen i step on the doorstep!
I TOT SHE WILL BE HAPPY DAT I GOT HOME EARLY TO MASSAGE HER!
ONCE I OPENED THE DOOR, SHE GAVE ME THE FACE LIKE SHES GOIN TO DIE RIGHT AT DAT POINT OF TIME! I TOLD HER GO CHANGE TO HER SHORTS DEN I WAN MASSAGE!
DEN SHE FUCKING RELPIED ME "NO NO NO NO NEED",
U EVERYDAY GO HOME LATE, GO DANCE DANCE DANCE! LET ME DIE OR WATEVER!
FUCK SIA! SERIOUSLY IF U DON WAN ME TO MASSAGE U, FUCKING HELL DON CALL ME N RUSH ME BACK HOME MAN! give me dat FUCKING ATTITUDE!
anytime she asked me to massage her i just massage, i don even complained!
even though i had chalet n got home at 7am, she asked for massage i massage ok!
wat else she wan from me?
every single day got home at 8pm n massage her!
HELLO I NEED SOMETIME TO REST OK?
yes FAMILY IS MY PRIORITY!
n i alr set it rite!
i know my duty as a son!
i m not heartless enough not to help u, just everyday take ur money den forget abt u!
i don mind helping u at a FUCKING hot environment!
but is this how to show me how APPRECIATIVE U R?
i m SORRY i shouted at u! though u r my mum i guess u FUCKING DONT UNDERSTAND WATS GOIN ON!
IF U WAN BE SELFISH YOUR LIFE AT THIS AGE!
EVERYONE WILL JUST AVOID U LA!
i did wat i could for now to be a good son!
but u need to be a good mum!
U DON EVEN SUPPORT MY DANCE!
U NV ASKED HOWS MY DANCE DOIN!
EVEN I TOLD U I M SICK AND INJURED U FUCKING DON CARE!
WENEVER I SAID I M SICK AND INJURED, UR REPLY WILL BE U DANCE TOO MUCH!
as a MUM you said such stuffs, u made me feel like i don even thankful for who i m now!
i just feel damn lost! very very lost!Labels: fuck fuck fuck
I won't ask you to stay, i'd rather walk away [10:55 PM]
SHOUTOUT!
EVERYONE DESERVES TO BE HAPPY!
Labels: smile
I won't ask you to stay, i'd rather walk away [2:06 PM]
P.S!
sometimes or maybe most of the time people dont see what good things someone did!
they only see the bad things that was done!
its pretty disappointing, but what to do, maybe this is human nature!
even if a friend put in some effort but sometimes they just dont see it!
i don even know how to react next, sometimes it felt so STUPID,
trying to hang on, not to be sensitive, just HECK
keeping myself busy, slack, drag time...
but the feeling of being like a JUNK is so OVERWHELMING!
MAYBE I'LL JUST WAIT AND SEE
AND GET TIRED AND SICK OF THIS SHIT!
*mum - please dont take me for granted! i hope you appreciate what i have done like how i appreciate what you had done to me! i am seriously dead tired! MONDAY TO SUNDAY helping you right early in the morning then i gotta rush down for training in the afternoon! reaching home very late every night, with only less den 4 hours of sleep daily! my body seriously is in pain! i've been sick for a few weeks! my shoulders and backbone in deep pain! i told you countless time i need you to sent me to the doctor but you take my words seriously!
nobody understand how am i feeling, everybody is busy with their own life! you said you are tired! who is not tired! PLEASE spare some thoughts for me! i've got no rest and i'm living in PAIN MENTALLY AND PHYSICALLY!Labels: too painful
I won't ask you to stay, i'd rather walk away [12:45 AM]
KO-ED!
gosh finally i managed to get sometime to rest more and blog!
yeah i m still goin MIA for while i guess!
haha!
KO NIGHT heats just over! well it was a freaking scary experienced!
nv ever tot of joining with NICOLE! shes like my longest dance mate!
new her since sec 1 n dance with her since sec 4!
99% of dance comp shes in my group and now shes my dance partner!
well i feel both of us work pretty well! i know soemtimes she pissed off with me coz i m such a lazy and blur partner!
but i guess we compromise each other well! we do work well as a team! and we really had fun and nv really too stress wen training!
now we are in the TOP 8 finalist! and freestyling is totally no joke for us coz we never ever freestyle b4! but i guess we will work hard, no to win or own other grp but to push ourself and be a better dancer!
an achievement i wish to accomplish before i go in NS!
JOB WELL DONE to every single teams who participated! YES the competition is bloody tough this time round! but wat makes me happy is wenever each team finished showcasing they came up to the holding room and felt damn happy! the crowd was awesome! the music was LOUD!
i guess this is one of the best thing to hear from other dancers dat they enjoy dancing!
to those who didnt make it well dont be disheartened as there are more opportunities out there!
WE ALL LOVE DANCE! DANCE IS NEVER GONNA END ANYTIME!
i am extremely proud by alot of my juniors who went to join the competition!
esp ANDY and JOEY! they make it to TOP 8 too! esp to ANDY never ever cross my mind he dared to join competition! but now LOOK WHERE IS HE NOW!
to JOEY, well shes the grooivest dancer in TPDE, and i bet u people she and her partner will do tonnes of crazy things man!
TO DEAREST JEAN AND AHLEE! i m so gonna miss training with u guys at SMU! dance for 5 mins chat and eat for another 5 hours! hahaz its ok u guys dont make it! WE ALL CHIONG FOR SUNTEC TGT OK! provided i go in NS after SEPT!
TO DEREK haha this ass over here queued for like an hour plus to support me! told him not to come but still come! thanks alot la! i don even realised dat i was facing you wen i'm dancing! damn nice of u! hahahaz
THANKS MEIQI FOR THE HONEY MILK TEA!
NOT TO FORGET thanks to KEITHS for being in the toilet comforting me wen i m vomiting mins b4 my turn to showcase, i guess i m still sick! still vomitting! hahah
LIFE is kinda different now!
i hope my mum is fined with watever challenges shes facing now! (she not sick or wat) personnel issues, all i can say shes really my first priority! i sacrificed my sleep just to be around her!
been hanging out with the bboys alot(harris,rb,say liang,joel,kat and more more)!
THANKS for constantly asking me out for dinner supper! talking with me about anything and everything! consulting and sharing with me about watever probs you guys r facing!
THANKS to WILL for the daily midnight chat and WEBCAM! lolx!
been pretty fun time doing all these stuffs! haha
FOR NOW! i so gonna concentrate on KO NIGHT! and make those people who have FAITH in me proud of who i m! RYAN GIN, EVERYONE IN TPDE who have faith,support me and have concern for me! to those who smsed me GOOD LUCK AND EVERYTHING thanks so much
LASTLY!
today is the first day for 1 yr dat i don have a MAID at home! my parents sent her off due to alot of reasons! felt damn sad! my brother even cried wen my mum told her shes sending her off back to the agency! apart from being angry with her all the time coz shes damn blur, lazy and talkative! i do thank her alot of taking care of the house coz theres noone at home!
while waiting for the new maid to come! i m gonna be the maid!
i did the laundry, dishes and even cook lunch today! haha
i slept alot alot too!!!
chatted with PINWEN abt life! coz currently both felt SHITTY abt some issues!
been awhile since i talked to him coz he having NS! haha
ok its kinda a freaking long post! i m gonna end here!
wanna dinner with my FAMILY and maybe have a haircut later!!Labels: haiz
I won't ask you to stay, i'd rather walk away [6:24 PM]
MIA!
I THINK ITS TIME TO GO MIA FOR A WHILE!
I AM KINDA SICK AND TIRED BY ALOT OF STUFFS!
AND I DONT WISH TO SHARE WITH PEOPLE!
I'M GONNA TAKE A BREAK AND CHILLAX FOR THE TIME BEING!
HOPE THINGS GET BETTER!
Labels: taking a break
I won't ask you to stay, i'd rather walk away [2:32 PM]
