Monday, July 28, 2008

OUR DREAMS DO COME TRUE!

finally DREAMS ended!
whoa its like really an eye opener and i really believe in miracles!
all the rehearsals were damn bad!
stage was bad DANCERS were freaking laid back n don have the sense of urgency!
everything was in rush!
cocked up here n there!
till the very day itself RYAN came to help to change the whole concert! we dancers got no choice but to adapt to the changes!
me & ROYSTON were the emcee for the event!
i was damn damn scared, during the rehearsals i don even know wat m i talking!
all my words i mumble it up! i kept on shouting FARK!!!!!
so damn irritated!
luckily GIN was there to help me out, say this n dat!

this concert i don even put any form of make up! coz i really got no time!
so wore a cap instead!

audience start coming in!
we dancers at the back were freaking freaking scared!

show start and the video wasnt playing!
we were like praying n praying so the video will be played!
its like 2 mins of blank stage n THANKS to the audience who kept on cheering, omg
such a DOPE audience!

i felt so relieve wen me & royston started the show! both of us as usual the bimbos!

the show unexpectedly went pretty well, all dancers seems enjoying themselves,
i myself enjoyed myself throughout the whole event!
esp wen the audience nv stop cheering!

i even cried on stage while i m dancing with LORENCIA! its like a huge opportunity to dance with a professional dancer! n i was given the opportunity so make use of it, shes been guiding me all along! don rush don rush don rush! she kept on mentioning me just grab just grab, she rather i grab den we fall on stage again! n the item went pretty well, i do forget steps but the first ever time we connected really well! n the second song just made me cried like a dog! lolx..


finally finale song!
felt so good seeing everyone so enthu, shouting n cheering our asses off!

SHOW end! went down to meet all my frens who came to support!

people like DEREK, RAYVIN, NRA, FB, SP, SMU, TPSU, AARON & CHERYL, WILSON for helping with photo taking, OSCHOOL peeps!
OMG too many to mention but thanks everyone who came to support n being such a DOPE audience!

now time for further improvement!
getting out of my comfort zone which i wanna get out long time ago but i just cant help it, but for SUNTEC i will get out!
trying to adapt RAHIM'S style! hahah
BREAKTHROUGH! hahahaha








NEXT will be SUNTEC COMPETITION!
catch URBAN STANCE! REVOGUE & INDEPENDENT CREW! wooohooooo
so FUN, but not time!

I won't ask you to stay, i'd rather walk away [9:15 AM]

Thursday, July 17, 2008

SINGAPORE MIA MICHAELS!
i don even know how to explain wat i felt during modern dance training ytd!
it was so freaking fun!
firstly RYAN was damn damn high! he made us do some routine which we learn quite alot from the feel!
he taught us the priorities of DANCE!
MUSIC=STYLE=CHOREOGRAPHY! it was simply great as everyday i learn new things and also explore new areas in dance! haha

den proceed to routine! well techniques i know i suck!
but RYAN is simply BRILLIANT! i felt so free doin his routine!
its like watching youtube videos n admiring MIA MICHAEL'S choreo!
i think singapore is pretty fortunate to have a DANCER/CHOREOGRAPHER like RYAN!
how i wish all of the TPDE modern dancers can perform dat piece for our DREAMS piece!

even after the class ended i feel like continuing dancing n hoping ryan could finish the whole song! hahaha!

I FELT SO GREAT YESTERDAY!
DANCE=EXPRESS=FREE=HAPPINESS!!!!!
our MR BRILLIANT!

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I won't ask you to stay, i'd rather walk away [9:23 AM]

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

I'M FALLIN OUT.....!
i wonder whose at fault?
sometimes i hate to be home early coz i really fucking hate to face all these nonsense stuffs dat happen at home, dats y i usually wanna go home late, so wen i reached home everyone is asleep n i can rest in peace!
but i aint dat selfish!
every single day, i had a tiring day in school, like one freaking long day of SIP den sometimes dance, and i felt dat i miss home n spending time with my family n brothers, sometimes i know i goin to be late for home, i sneaked out of my SIP go to my mum shop and at least spend a few hours there n chatted with her!
BUT DOES SHE EVEN REALIZE MY CONCERN?
wen i reached home early, i m so looking forward to have home cooked food, or even sit down infront of the TV with everyone n just randomly chat or sometimes laugh at each other?

BUT usually wen i got home early, my brother n i always got scoldings! like almost everyday we got scoldings! i understand they r tired of working the whole day, but i feel dats not a reason for u to come home to throw ur temper at us? its freaking unfair!

my brothers and i know sometime its our own fault for not cleaning up the dishes after we used but after all most of the time we did it? we got our grandfather who never stops nagging at us everyday! its really very annoying, n this had happen n nobody dares to say a word like 2 yrs ago! staying n home n facing n hearing all this nags r FUCKING SHIT enough for me!

BUT YESTERDAY WAS DIFFERENT!
i went home early, so happy dat i finished the paper work my mum asked me to do! once i opened my house door, i felt so great coz i smelled home cooked food n seriously my mum cooks like once or twice a month only! i faster open my boots n rushed to the kitchen to greet my mum! i entered the kitchen "BANG" both my parents SCOLD N SCOLD N SCOLD me without letting me say any word! they were scolding me dat i cooked at home n left the dirty dishes, they scolded me for putting my dirty laundry in the basket den my grandfather have to washed it! n they even mention dat i treat the house like a freaking HOTEL!

wen i heard all this, i don even wan to argue or wat! my heart totally sank, all my freaking missed my family feelings, looking forward to eat all GONE!
i told my dad i nv want my grandfather to wash my clothes coz usually i washed myself n hang it myself! but its my grandfather is the one who reminded me not to leave my dirty laundry on the floor in my room, he wants me to put in basket so he can wash! but i still don wan to bother him coz i know he is old enough, before i go to school i packed my dirty laundry in the basket den since my brother nv go to sch, i told him to put the laundry in the kitchen so wen i got home i can wash it myself, BUT watever i told my dad abt this HE JUST WOULDNT WANT TO LISTEN!
n scolded me for letting my grandfather washed my laundry, so i asked him WHO HAS BEEN THE WHILE WASHING URS N MY MUM LAUNDRY? isnt it my grandfather? so he got very angry, he said both my of them work to find money for all of us? so its ok for my grandfather washes their laundry! i was so FUCKED UP wen i heard this, so dat means u work n give us money u can take advantage of my grandfather to do the DIRTY job n be like a maid at home? both me n my dad nv wanna lose in quarrell! i don wan to further this stupid arguments! i said sorry to him n wanna close my door but he refuses he kept on pushing my door n wan me to understand the situation! like fucking hell i wanna care abt the damn situation! since u think wat u do is right n never felt u did mistakes den wat can i do! all i ask I WANNA BE ALONE!

my mum came n hug me coz i couldnt stop tearing coz i was so so fucked up abt all these things dat happened! but all of them never understand how we felt! they always think dat they go to work n assume dat they r more tired den those who goes to school! its like we go to school just to study n do nothing else! BUT THEY WERE WRONG! sometimes it can be really tiring, rushing over projects n meeting datelines! but which parents understand?

i cried for the whole night thinking of wat to do next! i don wan to burden anyone anymore, i don wan to cause all this stupid tentions at home anymore, HOW I WISH I CAN JUST GO UP TO MY 17TH STOREY HIGH FLAT N JUST JUMP DOWN, N DATS IT I WOULDNT EVER FACE ALL THESE NONSENSE ANYMORE!

i tried to text some of my frens but i don really share of wat i m goin thru! n i dunno whether they would understand! so i just talk to myself n force myself to cool down, its really hard coz my heart really beats freaking fast i even bite myself so i can feel the pain!

i think its time for me to be SELFISH n fuck care wat my parents feel, i rather go home late den goin home early hoping to eat home cooked food or even looking forward to be with ur family! COZ PARENTS NV UNDERSTAND! i rather waste my money on outside food dat eating at home! i really hate the arguments coz i think a home shld be a peaceful one den a hell one, since my parents kept on scolding us coz they r tired of receiving complains from my grandfather, den i rather not be home, coz it doesnt feels like a HOME to me!

TO ALL PARENTS OUT THERE!

i hope u people freaking concerned about how ur child/children feels! we don go to school to fuck around! we r tired in our own way, our brains sometimes feel like exploding! so wenever ur child/children is backed home let them cool down, rest den if u wanna scold, scold in a proper way, dont think dat u got the authority to scold as u feel dat u r more superior u can just scold ur child/children like how u scold ur dog! we got feelings too we feel affected too! if u wan scold theres alot of way u can scold, discuss wats the actual problem n how to solve it! don keep on throwing ur temper n never think dat every human made mistakes! u urself make mistakes! so instead of creating tensions n making a HOME like a hell, do have proper FAMILY TALK! ur child/children r not DOGS! all of us got things to do, all of us r stressed in out own way!









*nobody knows how much hurt it causes me, nobody knows how affected i m, nobody knows all the while i m not the loud raazmy u guys seen outside! in me its full of tears n frustration!

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I won't ask you to stay, i'd rather walk away [5:39 AM]

Friday, July 11, 2008

ITS PRICELESS!
apart from famly i feel friends r really PRICELESS to me!
friends are one of the group of people who stays forever and the people can you can seek wen u r need of someone to talk to or to bitch around n have fun together!

but in any occasion nv ever assume things from wat u see n just judge it the way it looks!
i made a mistake that i assume dat my own buddy is avoiding me, from there i feel very weird wen we came face to face, slowly both of us tried to avoid each other n really hide from each other! i felt total awkwardness i came to think n feel that is if i treasure friends around me furthermore a good fren i shld do soemthing to make this frenship a good wat!

well i just myself down n initiated dat both of us meet n catch up with each other!
it feels much better den i expected, i felt much better after thrashing things out.

as for u my buddy! i really feel damn sad of wat u r goin through now! i m trying my best to help but the one who felt the most impact is you, n i hope u r strong enough to handle it,please don do stupid things like u did b4! hmmmm

i will always be there wen u need me n i will contact u more n we shld bitch more often! hehez!
PROMISE!






*i felt really lost most of the times but i still care

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I won't ask you to stay, i'd rather walk away [2:46 PM]

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

SORRY SORRY!
omg i haven been updating for like a month!
really damn sorry coz i m way to busy and tired to update!
i cant remember everything that happen but some cool events i will update here!!!

START with TPSU AGM!
i gotta perform,
though our energy sucks but the crowd was pretty good!! lolx






next will be my class BBQ
at lewis's place! damn damn happening n fun actually!
did alot of crazy things like sexy shots for our calender!





















hahah i know its pretty annoying! thats wen all boys meet up! we try something retarded!!

NATIONAL DAY WITH TPDE!
well we had like a pot luck party at PASIR RIS park!
though like 15 ppl attend, we had tonnes of fun!
lots of irritating games, we headed down to burger king and ehub to slack until late!
overall it was a fun outing!





SUNTEC DANCE!

well so glad that i could work with my juniors,
we went to compete as the all guys team,
my main aim for this competition is to work well with my juniors!

though we nv get into finals but still we had lots of fun together, learning new things from each other.









all the best to INDEPENDENT CREW AND REVOGUE IN FINALS!
we TPDE gonna support u guys, n do make TPDE proud!!!

SIP ENDING!
in 2 days time SIP gonna end!
finally i will have my 10 hours of more sleep!
19 bloody weeks of waking up early!
but still i will go to sch almost daily to hang around with the frens i made in there!
it was freaking fun!
without these ppl in the workcell, SIP is gonna be hell!
the reason i go to sch daily is not to finish the project but to hang around with the people inside!
having a workcell but it look like home! we brought our own pillows to take a nap, he create boundary to play soccer inside! we created SLOGAN in case the teachers coming inside!
tonnes of fun!

LASTLY!
welcoming my new family member! haha
finally my mum decided to have a maid at home!
to take care of my grandpa as well as the house!
n my maid is pretty good at cooking! wooohooooooo
shes more like a sister to us!




*19 weeks of crush

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I won't ask you to stay, i'd rather walk away [10:48 AM]







Profile

Name: Muhammad Raazmy
Age: 21- NO LONGER A KID!
School: Temasek Polytechnic
Birthday: 25 Febuary 1988
BLog: http://itsjust-rustmy.blogspot.com

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